10.23.2006
aww, so i miss ben
but, you know, its a good kind of miss
the kind of miss that makes you want to see them RIGHT NOW
not the kind thats sad and lonley,
its a different kind of miss
one that comes after the sad and lonely kind
its one that comes from knowing and remembering how important they are to you
how special someone is to you that you want to be near them
want to be around them, you know?
its a kind of miss where instead of thinking about just how down you feel because you havent seen them in a while,
you think about what they may be doing right now, how theyre feeling,
you worry if theyre frightened, if their sad, if their confused or stressed out
you hope constantly they had a good day, and looking foward ot wakeing up the next morning
you hope their thinking about you, or at least, not angry with you, or dissapointed in you in anyway
and you want to do all you can to make them the happiest person alive.
thats whats im feeling.
i used to get that all the time
ALLL the time
and then i didnt for a while
you know how sometimes you can fall into the dark?
into a big nasty rut that drags you down,
and pulls to keep you there,
and your kind of just feeling low?
but every once and a while theres one thing
one day
one hour
and youre so high on life and happy
but then the next day or hour youre down again?
well, i think im done with that
things are good.
life is good.
maybe this is just some loittle high plateu im on right now and im going to wake up tomorrow morning having crashed a hundred feet down onto pure concrete, but for the first time in a long time i know that i miss ben a lot and want to be with him right this second and hold his hand, something, at least be near him. maybe im just being some sappy romantic but hey its good for me i havent been a sappy romantic for months hahah. im mjust feeling really content right now, optimistic about the futre, ok, anxoius, i'll give you that, but i dont think i'll ever loose my anxiety [problem?], no matter how great things are.
you know, sometimes i just wish he knew. like, i have no idea whether or not hes going ot read this, i pray he does, just because its hard expressing things almost all the time, and on some reare occasion when i actually do its never out loud or to anybody in particular. sometimes, i feel like im just talking to myself and none of it is makingany sense but i understand it all but i know that if i were to say aloud anything i thought up everyone would probably think im a nut. but, you know what? oh well.
i like being my anxious sappy romantic self and praying that my boyfriend knows just how crazy i am about him, and how badly i cant wait until we hang out, and how i hope hope hope he gets my text messages everyday, even if he gets them two days later.
with love.
the kind of miss that makes you want to see them RIGHT NOW
not the kind thats sad and lonley,
its a different kind of miss
one that comes after the sad and lonely kind
its one that comes from knowing and remembering how important they are to you
how special someone is to you that you want to be near them
want to be around them, you know?
its a kind of miss where instead of thinking about just how down you feel because you havent seen them in a while,
you think about what they may be doing right now, how theyre feeling,
you worry if theyre frightened, if their sad, if their confused or stressed out
you hope constantly they had a good day, and looking foward ot wakeing up the next morning
you hope their thinking about you, or at least, not angry with you, or dissapointed in you in anyway
and you want to do all you can to make them the happiest person alive.
thats whats im feeling.
i used to get that all the time
ALLL the time
and then i didnt for a while
you know how sometimes you can fall into the dark?
into a big nasty rut that drags you down,
and pulls to keep you there,
and your kind of just feeling low?
but every once and a while theres one thing
one day
one hour
and youre so high on life and happy
but then the next day or hour youre down again?
well, i think im done with that
things are good.
life is good.
maybe this is just some loittle high plateu im on right now and im going to wake up tomorrow morning having crashed a hundred feet down onto pure concrete, but for the first time in a long time i know that i miss ben a lot and want to be with him right this second and hold his hand, something, at least be near him. maybe im just being some sappy romantic but hey its good for me i havent been a sappy romantic for months hahah. im mjust feeling really content right now, optimistic about the futre, ok, anxoius, i'll give you that, but i dont think i'll ever loose my anxiety [problem?], no matter how great things are.
you know, sometimes i just wish he knew. like, i have no idea whether or not hes going ot read this, i pray he does, just because its hard expressing things almost all the time, and on some reare occasion when i actually do its never out loud or to anybody in particular. sometimes, i feel like im just talking to myself and none of it is makingany sense but i understand it all but i know that if i were to say aloud anything i thought up everyone would probably think im a nut. but, you know what? oh well.
i like being my anxious sappy romantic self and praying that my boyfriend knows just how crazy i am about him, and how badly i cant wait until we hang out, and how i hope hope hope he gets my text messages everyday, even if he gets them two days later.
with love.
// posted by RACH @ 9:33 PM 
