You're my sweet charade

i see the smiles returning to all the faces
little darling, it seems like years since its been here
here comes the sun
and i say,
it's alright.




im ok. i'm much better than the day before, i mean. i've been working up on trying to think of a mantra type thing. haha, i know, corny right? but its like.. someones something that keeps them going, which i t hink is really important. their own... philosophy type thing. what makes you wake up the next morning? (and "my alarm clock" or "my mom" are both not the type of answers i'm looking for) is it because it's a habit? is it because you really do look foward to the day? is it because you have nothing better to do? tell me- i want to know

so on the way home from my dads we were listening to the beatles, considering hes basicalyl obsessed. and theyre good theyre good, and the songs "band on teh run" comes on. and im like "hmm this is an interesting song" because i thought it was "man on the run" haha but whatev thats not my point. theres the line "the rain exploded with a mighty crash as we fell into the sun" and i can only help but wonder what i means. i mean, read it! its seems liek it'd be so meaningful but i just cant understand it. the rain exploded- hmm i dont know how that could happen so it must be relating something or philisophically stating something. with a might crash- ah.. lightening? thunder? possibly? as we fell into the dun- stil.. not getting it. what does it MEAN?

i had a good fulfilling, rejuvinating weekend. i needed one of those. the football game was a blast, kati came over and we had a blast, today i went to sunday school and church and hung out with my dad, well, sort of. my maimie, pampie, nana, papa, aunt, cousin, dad and i all watched spider man and ate dinner and evertyhing together. i took a nap from 1-4:30 though lol. on the couch. while they were all watching the pats game. not that i didnt want to watch it, but my need of sleep was greater than my will for watching.

and i have a crap load of homework sitting next to me that i should do. i might go do that. but probably wont.

so im bored righ tnow and im thinking that i want to start having a morning routine. i think that i'll get up at 4:30 from now on, every da, or at least 3 times a week, and go running. i know the perfect place and it be refreshing int he morning, dont oyu think? to go running in the nice crisp air, and then come home, take a shower, and feel all new again. then do my english hw, which, for something reason i always have the urge to do in the morning. clean up my room a bit, and then hit the road and catch the bus. i really ned some headfones for the bus, like, really really really. not an ipod though, i dont feel as though those are worth buying. i wqas talking to someone about it today, and i just dont really see its worth getting all the songs over again, considering i have so many cds already. but then again.. t would be really handy to have it just fit in your pocket and you could listen to any song anywhere any time. hmm...

what do i want for my birthday? am i even going to have a party? i kinda want like.. a huge huge huge huge one, with like.. a ton of people over here, probs play some ultimate and then man hunt. or i want a wicked little close gathering of just all my close friends. but i cant make up my minddd! im probs just not gonna have one. who to invite? lol i dont have enough friends

i want to go running right now. but its 9:11 at night jk, now its 9:12 and its dark and i wanna sleep.

if im going tobe runnig in the morning i need to go to bed.

after i do my chem homework. ok, thats my plan for tonight.

goonight all,

<3 rachel