6.24.2005
its' impossible
oh baby it's impossible
for me to love you
this way
it's impossible
if youre making it this way
impossible to make it easy
if you're always trying to make it so damn hard
i love cristina aguilera. well, obviously. her stripped cd is greeaaat. some wierd form of pop/soul/latino.
today was tinas surpise party! and she was actually suprised! wooo!! andi, be, kerry, tina, and i were all there. it was funnn! we all went swimming about 4 or 5 times, i dono even know how many, and the water was SOO COLD. but thats ok, we had to cool off. at one point we were playing this badmitton form game.. i dono what its called, but tehres different rackets and an actual ball, and it was in the water.. oh goodness. we tried playing frisbee with these mini frisbees the size of coasters and that was.... not effective at all. we gave up. we ende dup going for a walk, the five of us, and ran into mark maney, mark kozazcki, and mike krathwhol. actually.. they astarted pegging a tennis ball at us. after kerry ended up getting thrown into the water a couple times and we traded holding teh skittles about 20 times cuz no one wanted to hold the bag, we managed to get ahld of the tennis ball. haha. mike was flirting with everyone, which was wicked cute and soo entertaining, as usual. everyone i think ended up in the water, and we were all throwing dirt and sand and SEAWEED (ew.. gross) at eachother, mark maney started it. ehhh i hate seaweeeed. i cant ewven handle it... not the seaweed.. anotehr concept that i dont really feel belongs advertised online. umm. yah.. soo. then i threw the ball into the sand dunes and people actually ran for it, though theyre endangered or something and youre not supposed to walk on them. oh wellll. so.. that was a whole lot of fun. and when we got back to our spot, mark mark and mikes spot was right nearby, and mike managed to snag one of our coolers and him and mark maney took out the pringles or something. oh and mark thought it'd be a good idea to try and throw skittles into mikes mouth.. who was about 30 feet away in the water. i dont think mike caught any. btu it was a compelete waste of a wicked lot amount of skittles. it was funny to watch their stupidity though. eventualyl we ghot around to having icecream cake.. mm mm goood. then we left and deb gave everyone a ride home.
oh yeah.. and on wednesday was kati's partaay!! oh god.. well, i walked there.. almost all the way there anyway, but then ms.killian, my spanish teachers sister in law/classroom aid in ms.lamprons class/one of my jazz students mothers saw me walking and pulle dover and from about 100 feet away screamed "RACHY!? IS THAT YOU?" hahha so i ran over and shes like "oh gosh! i thought it was you! here here get in where are you going, i'll give oyu a ride" hahahaa. it was the coolest thing ever! shes soo nice! i loove her to death. and i got to see my little madison too! shes the cutest little dancer you've ever seen. awwww i love the fam. but anyway she totally paused her daily schedual and gave me a ride to katis house, someone whom shes never met before. hahaa. turns out ms.killians my neighbor!!! how cool is taht> they're definetally a family i'd like to stay in contat with. DEFINETALLY. buty anyway.. i got there and there were already some people there. so once more peopl arrived we went out front and played four square.. cuz we're wicked cooll. and then once all the boys got there we went outback and played baseballl, well.. wiffle ball, frisbee, hung around, did ya know, stuff. and thenn eventually we went inside and had cake and everything, but then we went ou back outside and started agame of FUCKING MAN HUNT. well.. i hate the dark. actually. ilm terrified of the dark. i CRY in the dark. so, bret and i were partners and we were the ones being hunted so we were hiding behind trees together and stuff, and he got way ahead of me at one point and OMG I was like waaaaat are you doing!? and we totally wierded julie out cuz shes like "guys? is someone back there? whos behind those trees!? hello!??!" and i wa sliek "BRET DONT SAY ANYTHING SHH" and by now peopel had said the game was over and we should come out. and when we didnt, julie turns around from being like.. 15 feet away and was like "omg guys, i've been talking to a tree" and bret had to go and rtuin it and was like "no acutally. we're here haah:" it was funneh though. buttt anyway, then we had to be the people who were gaurding stuff, and i volunteered to be the jail gaurd, cuz the last thing i wanted to do in the middle of the night was run around in creepeh bushes and trees. so i was standing tehre, minding my own buisness, and then i heard this wierd hissing sound. and i rememberd how kati said there were snakes in her yard. so, my first though "snakes.. oh nat, i dont mind a snake" but then it hit me that i was all alone in the ark and tehre were people who had no idea what was going on so i screaming "OMG THERES A FUCKING SNAKE OUT EHRE AHHHHH" and i screamed for about ten minutes. meanwhile, tehre was a hissing noise coming from the other partt of the lawn. so there was one about 5 feet from me, and another 10 feet awa and they kept getting louder, so OBVIUOSLY they must have been coming closer. so i screamed and screamed and screamed and i ran over to pam's truck, climbed into the back, where kati was and was like "OMG WHAT DO WE DO OMG OMG" and i was like. shaking her shoulders, and shes like "RACH, STOP. STOP. STOP. STOP. be quiet, theres nothing to worry about." ... turns out Bob thought it'd be funny to turn the sprinkler system on. WHAT? BOB FOR GODS SAKE.holy fuck i was scared out of my mind from a sprinkler. BUT SINCE WHEN DO SPRINKLERS HISS? and it definuetalyl wasn't shooting water. omg. aaahhhhhhh I HATE MAN HUNT. so then i decided that i wasnt going to gaurd the jail anymore, and moved to the goal where there were already people. so, i was pacing back and forth trying not to cry and trying to keep myself occupied and focused on the task at hand when there was this sudden CLICK HUM BANG. so obviuosly i jumped out my skin, whipped aroun and screamed.. again. i had no idea what the heck could make a noise liek that... turns out it was the AC. and i mean a big one, its outside and sits on the ground by the house. OMFG. it was like the entire concept of man hunt was against me. and of course the peopel atanding at the goal with me were laughing their asses off. ashley paquin, jamie linquist aaaand i forget who else. yeah.. NOT COOL. so then i was even more freaked out and i couldnt tell in the dark who was who, so every five secods i pointed and said "WHOS THAT!?" and i'd hear tehm say "nate " or "andi" i had to have asked andi about 20 times. but tehn someone comes runnign by behind me so i spun around and slapped them, tagged them, and nate goes "OWWWW" and i was liek oh sorry. but then he klept doing it and i didnt know it was him at all so i'd keep tagging him, but it freaked me out cuz he'd run out of the bushes suddenly and i was liek "AHHHH" cuz i didnt know it was anyone. oh goddd. and then, when we switched again, my team was outback talking and we were all huddled into this little circle, and once i had heard the plan i spun right around and tehre was this THING there. and i was liek "AHHHHHHHH" .. turns out it was sam. he goes "..all i wanted to do was ask to make the circle bigger." but omg.. it was soo creepy. cuz i just turned around and there was this PERSON there. i had no idea who it was and i didnt know they were there. i wouldve like. shoved him over if i turned around any faster. oh goddddd.. but then, randomly people starting running out from everywhere and it didnt make any sense cuz it couldnt ahve been the other team cuz they were def not counting yet, and i started running around screaming cuz i thought peopel were like.. attacking. i was soo fucking stressed out that night i cant even explain it. so i ran right into jack cuz i was too busy being scared out of my mind to watch where i was going. so then i decided i was NOT playing this game ever again. so went and sat down in the jail, the front steps, and i put my head in my hands and waited for it to be over. i hate man hunt, it's took intense for me.
sometimes i wonder if i had some kind of tramua when i was little to make me so afraid of the dark.
but anyweay, so after teh guys left, us girls got ready for bed and talked untill.. god knows when. but i was only in there half the time. i brought one of those feather comforters, which are sooo comfortable. except allt he feathers were like... at the edges so there was no padding on the hardwood floors at all and i just decided to go into the other room, alone, to sleep on the couch. theres french doors in between the two rooms so it wasnt dark or anything, i just didnt like the fact that there was a door right next to me that went out to the porch too. i was too tierd to really care though. but i still coudnt get to sleep though cuz everyone was talking, adn even though it wasnt an interesting convo at all, i couldnt zone away from it. ya know? i try to ignore things and get my mind on something else but i just couldnt, something was tugging me into the other room to listen. i stayed on the couch for about 2 1/2 hours just laying there and eventually i fell asleep and i woke up early, about 8:45 and i couldnt get back to sleep, as usual,so i layed there for almost an hour. then all us girls got up and had a splended breakfast, hmm, cinnamon bagles and cinnamon scones and it was deliiish. and then everyone started leaving, and i was the last one to be picked up, so while kati got ready for teh day i hung out with pam and we talkeddd and stuff. then dan came to pick me up and i hung out with dem the rest of the day.
whoa that took a whole lot out of me.
this sunburn fucking kills. ahhh
ive been playing my guitar a lot lately. i love my guitar. i want an electric. any donations??
ok, so, it's about time i give everyone an update. kris and i are no longer goin out or any of that, cuz it was turning out to be a little pointless. i mean.. it was cometpley sudden and i didnt see it coming at all and obviuosly i was way dissapointed, [sad face] and i dont like this at all. but, kris is right, we never ever ever get to see eachother, so it wasnt worth it really. i like this though, i feel sort of.. free. i mean. sumemrs coming, and i'm gonan be out and about and now i dont have to worry about having that little vioce in the back of my head tell me "rachell. stop.. you ahve a boyfriend" cuz.. i dont have one!
lovely.
i love summer woo hooo it still hasnt really hit me though, like. it just hasnt but it will!.. i hope.
i have soo many people i wanna hang out with this summer. i dont have any timeee!! but i do want to have a busy summer, not like last year, last year was BOOORING. but now, i know more people, high school has done me some good. i met some wicked cool peopel from other grades, so now it's not just my close friend si hav eto hang out with,. i can go out on a limb or two, this is gonna be great. call the cell anytime if you have the number, leave a message WITH YOUR FONE NUMBER please even if i dont answer. i like to know that i'm thought about. [smile] it boosts my self esteem and grants you a rain date to hang out. either way, it's all good!
i cant wait to get my work schedual in the mail! I CANT FUCKING WAIT for anything that has to do with work! woo hoo. i am a working woman. sweet. i liek that title, but i've deicded i dont' want to work the whole sumemr ever ever ever again, i know that now and i havent even started working yet. thats how sure of it i am. i want to have time for friends, plus next year i'll be driving myself around, and im def gonan be driving myself to the beach and to everyones houses next summer. YESSS I LOVE THIS. I LOVE THE HIGHSCHOOL YEARS> not so much highschoo... but eerything that happens DURING the time spent in highschool. ya know what i mean.
ok.. im exausted, and iw anna get to bed soon, and i want this sunburn to just stop burning, whenever i move its like getting an indian suburn.ahh. THE PAINN
at least it'll turn into a kick ass tan [smile]!
ok, im tierd. GOODNIGHT MY LOVERS. CALL ANYTIME.
love you all with all my heart, racheyy <3
for me to love you
this way
it's impossible
if youre making it this way
impossible to make it easy
if you're always trying to make it so damn hard
i love cristina aguilera. well, obviously. her stripped cd is greeaaat. some wierd form of pop/soul/latino.
today was tinas surpise party! and she was actually suprised! wooo!! andi, be, kerry, tina, and i were all there. it was funnn! we all went swimming about 4 or 5 times, i dono even know how many, and the water was SOO COLD. but thats ok, we had to cool off. at one point we were playing this badmitton form game.. i dono what its called, but tehres different rackets and an actual ball, and it was in the water.. oh goodness. we tried playing frisbee with these mini frisbees the size of coasters and that was.... not effective at all. we gave up. we ende dup going for a walk, the five of us, and ran into mark maney, mark kozazcki, and mike krathwhol. actually.. they astarted pegging a tennis ball at us. after kerry ended up getting thrown into the water a couple times and we traded holding teh skittles about 20 times cuz no one wanted to hold the bag, we managed to get ahld of the tennis ball. haha. mike was flirting with everyone, which was wicked cute and soo entertaining, as usual. everyone i think ended up in the water, and we were all throwing dirt and sand and SEAWEED (ew.. gross) at eachother, mark maney started it. ehhh i hate seaweeeed. i cant ewven handle it... not the seaweed.. anotehr concept that i dont really feel belongs advertised online. umm. yah.. soo. then i threw the ball into the sand dunes and people actually ran for it, though theyre endangered or something and youre not supposed to walk on them. oh wellll. so.. that was a whole lot of fun. and when we got back to our spot, mark mark and mikes spot was right nearby, and mike managed to snag one of our coolers and him and mark maney took out the pringles or something. oh and mark thought it'd be a good idea to try and throw skittles into mikes mouth.. who was about 30 feet away in the water. i dont think mike caught any. btu it was a compelete waste of a wicked lot amount of skittles. it was funny to watch their stupidity though. eventualyl we ghot around to having icecream cake.. mm mm goood. then we left and deb gave everyone a ride home.
oh yeah.. and on wednesday was kati's partaay!! oh god.. well, i walked there.. almost all the way there anyway, but then ms.killian, my spanish teachers sister in law/classroom aid in ms.lamprons class/one of my jazz students mothers saw me walking and pulle dover and from about 100 feet away screamed "RACHY!? IS THAT YOU?" hahha so i ran over and shes like "oh gosh! i thought it was you! here here get in where are you going, i'll give oyu a ride" hahahaa. it was the coolest thing ever! shes soo nice! i loove her to death. and i got to see my little madison too! shes the cutest little dancer you've ever seen. awwww i love the fam. but anyway she totally paused her daily schedual and gave me a ride to katis house, someone whom shes never met before. hahaa. turns out ms.killians my neighbor!!! how cool is taht> they're definetally a family i'd like to stay in contat with. DEFINETALLY. buty anyway.. i got there and there were already some people there. so once more peopl arrived we went out front and played four square.. cuz we're wicked cooll. and then once all the boys got there we went outback and played baseballl, well.. wiffle ball, frisbee, hung around, did ya know, stuff. and thenn eventually we went inside and had cake and everything, but then we went ou back outside and started agame of FUCKING MAN HUNT. well.. i hate the dark. actually. ilm terrified of the dark. i CRY in the dark. so, bret and i were partners and we were the ones being hunted so we were hiding behind trees together and stuff, and he got way ahead of me at one point and OMG I was like waaaaat are you doing!? and we totally wierded julie out cuz shes like "guys? is someone back there? whos behind those trees!? hello!??!" and i wa sliek "BRET DONT SAY ANYTHING SHH" and by now peopel had said the game was over and we should come out. and when we didnt, julie turns around from being like.. 15 feet away and was like "omg guys, i've been talking to a tree" and bret had to go and rtuin it and was like "no acutally. we're here haah:" it was funneh though. buttt anyway, then we had to be the people who were gaurding stuff, and i volunteered to be the jail gaurd, cuz the last thing i wanted to do in the middle of the night was run around in creepeh bushes and trees. so i was standing tehre, minding my own buisness, and then i heard this wierd hissing sound. and i rememberd how kati said there were snakes in her yard. so, my first though "snakes.. oh nat, i dont mind a snake" but then it hit me that i was all alone in the ark and tehre were people who had no idea what was going on so i screaming "OMG THERES A FUCKING SNAKE OUT EHRE AHHHHH" and i screamed for about ten minutes. meanwhile, tehre was a hissing noise coming from the other partt of the lawn. so there was one about 5 feet from me, and another 10 feet awa and they kept getting louder, so OBVIUOSLY they must have been coming closer. so i screamed and screamed and screamed and i ran over to pam's truck, climbed into the back, where kati was and was like "OMG WHAT DO WE DO OMG OMG" and i was like. shaking her shoulders, and shes like "RACH, STOP. STOP. STOP. STOP. be quiet, theres nothing to worry about." ... turns out Bob thought it'd be funny to turn the sprinkler system on. WHAT? BOB FOR GODS SAKE.holy fuck i was scared out of my mind from a sprinkler. BUT SINCE WHEN DO SPRINKLERS HISS? and it definuetalyl wasn't shooting water. omg. aaahhhhhhh I HATE MAN HUNT. so then i decided that i wasnt going to gaurd the jail anymore, and moved to the goal where there were already people. so, i was pacing back and forth trying not to cry and trying to keep myself occupied and focused on the task at hand when there was this sudden CLICK HUM BANG. so obviuosly i jumped out my skin, whipped aroun and screamed.. again. i had no idea what the heck could make a noise liek that... turns out it was the AC. and i mean a big one, its outside and sits on the ground by the house. OMFG. it was like the entire concept of man hunt was against me. and of course the peopel atanding at the goal with me were laughing their asses off. ashley paquin, jamie linquist aaaand i forget who else. yeah.. NOT COOL. so then i was even more freaked out and i couldnt tell in the dark who was who, so every five secods i pointed and said "WHOS THAT!?" and i'd hear tehm say "nate " or "andi" i had to have asked andi about 20 times. but tehn someone comes runnign by behind me so i spun around and slapped them, tagged them, and nate goes "OWWWW" and i was liek oh sorry. but then he klept doing it and i didnt know it was him at all so i'd keep tagging him, but it freaked me out cuz he'd run out of the bushes suddenly and i was liek "AHHHH" cuz i didnt know it was anyone. oh goddd. and then, when we switched again, my team was outback talking and we were all huddled into this little circle, and once i had heard the plan i spun right around and tehre was this THING there. and i was liek "AHHHHHHHH" .. turns out it was sam. he goes "..all i wanted to do was ask to make the circle bigger." but omg.. it was soo creepy. cuz i just turned around and there was this PERSON there. i had no idea who it was and i didnt know they were there. i wouldve like. shoved him over if i turned around any faster. oh goddddd.. but then, randomly people starting running out from everywhere and it didnt make any sense cuz it couldnt ahve been the other team cuz they were def not counting yet, and i started running around screaming cuz i thought peopel were like.. attacking. i was soo fucking stressed out that night i cant even explain it. so i ran right into jack cuz i was too busy being scared out of my mind to watch where i was going. so then i decided i was NOT playing this game ever again. so went and sat down in the jail, the front steps, and i put my head in my hands and waited for it to be over. i hate man hunt, it's took intense for me.
sometimes i wonder if i had some kind of tramua when i was little to make me so afraid of the dark.
but anyweay, so after teh guys left, us girls got ready for bed and talked untill.. god knows when. but i was only in there half the time. i brought one of those feather comforters, which are sooo comfortable. except allt he feathers were like... at the edges so there was no padding on the hardwood floors at all and i just decided to go into the other room, alone, to sleep on the couch. theres french doors in between the two rooms so it wasnt dark or anything, i just didnt like the fact that there was a door right next to me that went out to the porch too. i was too tierd to really care though. but i still coudnt get to sleep though cuz everyone was talking, adn even though it wasnt an interesting convo at all, i couldnt zone away from it. ya know? i try to ignore things and get my mind on something else but i just couldnt, something was tugging me into the other room to listen. i stayed on the couch for about 2 1/2 hours just laying there and eventually i fell asleep and i woke up early, about 8:45 and i couldnt get back to sleep, as usual,so i layed there for almost an hour. then all us girls got up and had a splended breakfast, hmm, cinnamon bagles and cinnamon scones and it was deliiish. and then everyone started leaving, and i was the last one to be picked up, so while kati got ready for teh day i hung out with pam and we talkeddd and stuff. then dan came to pick me up and i hung out with dem the rest of the day.
whoa that took a whole lot out of me.
this sunburn fucking kills. ahhh
ive been playing my guitar a lot lately. i love my guitar. i want an electric. any donations??
ok, so, it's about time i give everyone an update. kris and i are no longer goin out or any of that, cuz it was turning out to be a little pointless. i mean.. it was cometpley sudden and i didnt see it coming at all and obviuosly i was way dissapointed, [sad face] and i dont like this at all. but, kris is right, we never ever ever get to see eachother, so it wasnt worth it really. i like this though, i feel sort of.. free. i mean. sumemrs coming, and i'm gonan be out and about and now i dont have to worry about having that little vioce in the back of my head tell me "rachell. stop.. you ahve a boyfriend" cuz.. i dont have one!
lovely.
i love summer woo hooo it still hasnt really hit me though, like. it just hasnt but it will!.. i hope.
i have soo many people i wanna hang out with this summer. i dont have any timeee!! but i do want to have a busy summer, not like last year, last year was BOOORING. but now, i know more people, high school has done me some good. i met some wicked cool peopel from other grades, so now it's not just my close friend si hav eto hang out with,. i can go out on a limb or two, this is gonna be great. call the cell anytime if you have the number, leave a message WITH YOUR FONE NUMBER please even if i dont answer. i like to know that i'm thought about. [smile] it boosts my self esteem and grants you a rain date to hang out. either way, it's all good!
i cant wait to get my work schedual in the mail! I CANT FUCKING WAIT for anything that has to do with work! woo hoo. i am a working woman. sweet. i liek that title, but i've deicded i dont' want to work the whole sumemr ever ever ever again, i know that now and i havent even started working yet. thats how sure of it i am. i want to have time for friends, plus next year i'll be driving myself around, and im def gonan be driving myself to the beach and to everyones houses next summer. YESSS I LOVE THIS. I LOVE THE HIGHSCHOOL YEARS> not so much highschoo... but eerything that happens DURING the time spent in highschool. ya know what i mean.
ok.. im exausted, and iw anna get to bed soon, and i want this sunburn to just stop burning, whenever i move its like getting an indian suburn.ahh. THE PAINN
at least it'll turn into a kick ass tan [smile]!
ok, im tierd. GOODNIGHT MY LOVERS. CALL ANYTIME.
love you all with all my heart, racheyy <3
// posted by RACH @ 9:14 PM 
