You're my sweet charade

You walk into the room- everybody stares
The talking stops- there's a silence there
The room is yours- you own it now
You're in control and everybody knows


alice cooper. you're the life and death of the party.

-this was actually a neat away message that i saw cuz i'm a loser and thats what i like to do in my spare time:

"one night we could have tea for two
or watch scream three, talk till four, f-i-v-e
shop at six, we couldve ate at seven,
nine plus one is ten plus one is eleven
twelve times i coulda called to tell you the thirteenth was bad luck so dont fall on the fourteen steps leading to your door
thank you miss can i have some more"

i haven't a clue where it's from, but isn't it creative?




so, i'm into stuff like creed. (hah athought i was gonna say weed didn't ya) and i loove their human clay album. oh gosh it's postativley the BEST.

heres a really really awesome song, its sad, but it's soo meaningful.

She came calling
One early morning
She showed her crown of thorns

She whispered softly
To tell a story
About how she had been wronged

As she lay lifeless
He stole her innocence
And this is how she carried on

Well I guess she closed her eyes
And just imagined everything's alright
But she could not hide her tears
'Cause they were meant to wash away those years
They were sent to wash away those years

My anger's violent
But still I'm silent
When tragedy strikes at home

I know this decadence
Is shared by millions
Remember you're not alone
Remember you're not alone

If you just close youre eyes
And just imagine everythings alright
Do not hide your tears
They were sent to wash away those years
Well if oyu just close your eyes
And just amagine everythings alright
Do not hide your tears
They were sent to wash away those years
They were sent to wash away those years
...Maybe we can wash away those years

For we have crossed many oceans
And we labor in between
In life there are many quotients
And I hope I find the mean

If you just close your eyes
And just imagine everythings alright
But do not hide your tears
They were sent to wash away those years
Well if you just close your eyes
And just imagine everythings alright
Don't ever hide your tears
They were sent to wash away those years
Maybe we can wash away those years
I hope that you can wash away those years.

rape? maybe? i think thats what it might be. i mean.. look at the lyrics, its a story about how some girl was raped. poor thang.

speaking of that sort of thing.. sort of, we're having sex ed again.. sort of, in bio class. lovely. perfect atmostphere, a very descriptive teacher with a very immature group of people. AWESOME. after a little descrepency over what gonads were thanks to joannas lack of understanding i thought the worst was over. we were learning about genes and doing this activity where you take two eye color genes and put them together and find out what the babys eye color was going to be. we had to do that with 25 characteristics. so, we had partners and teh lights suddenly shut off then came back on and we're all like "whoa what happend?" and mrs.hezzeys like, ok, so now you guys are hooked up. we just fast fowarded through that part, so now the egg and sperm are together. and then jakes like "what!? what the fuck? i missed it! dammit! shit! come on mrs.hezzey thats not fair" and shes like "jake, we're moving on" and hes like "hezzey, i wasn't ready! fuck. i didn't get it up" and obviuosly the entire class started laughing their asses off. it was absolutley hilarious. and his paretner was like "great, i got stuck with the inadequate one" hahahah. wow. it was great. so then while were working on figureing out the characteristics the lights flicker off then on again and then off and then on and then off and then on and we look to see jake standing there by the switch. and hes like "Hezzey look! twins!" and all this. hahaa. oh god, lord help us.
> but anyway my daughter is going to be absolutley gorgeous. her names gonan be sofia. or sophia. i dono which way to spell it yet. but anyway, shes going to have straight blond hair, big blue eyes, some freckles, dimples, a cute average sized nose, long eye lashes, fine eyebrows, big lips (not wicked gross big though haha) she'll be able to roll her tounge (kinda random, but hey, she'll be a good kisser haha- the little slut), and last but not least, she wont have a hitch-hickers thumb. just some random facts thrown in there. cute little sofia. or sophia. whateverhernameis.
biology. what an interesting class.

interestingly enoguh, i dont even know if i wanna have kids. too much responsibility. for some reason i've always wanted to be a single mother, i have no clue why, that was till i realized how real everything is and how much you ahve to worry and its just so responsibility. haah i can picture myself as a single mom, but i know i'm never going to get married. ever. so.. how does that work?

america is so contraversial. omg its insane! i'm going to take a song (which will be in lower case letters) and write a litle bit about each like (which will be in caps)
Only in America we're slaves to be free [WE HAD SLAVES, PLENTY OF THEM. WE ADVERTISE THAT THIS IS A FREE LAND AND SUDDENLY WE'RE CAPTURING EVERY BLACK THAT IMMIGRATES HERE TO FIND FREEDOM. THEY CAME EHRE FOR A REASON YOU KNOW. AND THAT WAS NOT TO LABOR DAY IN AND DAY OUT FOR SOME LAZY GUY FOR NO MONEY.?]
Only in America we kill the unborn to make ends meet [ABORTION, I'M NOT AGAINST IT, BUT THINK ABOUT IT FOR A MINUTE, WE'RE WILLING TO GIVE UP AN ENTIRE LIFE, YEARS AND DECADES AND EVERYTHING, BECAUSE WE DONT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO CARE TAKE OF HIM OR HER, OR OUR SELVES-WHOS FAULT IS THAT? ADOPTION WOULD BE A BETTER CHOICE.. DONT YOU THINK?]
Only in America sexuality is democracy [PERSONALLY, I DON'T AGREE WITH PROSTITUTION. SURE IF ITS THEIR CHOICE TO LET PEOPLE USE THEM THEN GO AHEAD AND DO IT, BUT I DONT THINK ITS A GREAT IDEA. YOU CANT FIND ANY BETTER WAY TO MAKE MONEY? THATS BEING LAZY. ITS CHEATING. THINK ABOUT IT]
Only in America we stamp our god In God we trust [NOTICE EVERYTHING HAVING TO DO WITH GOVERNMENT HAS TO DO WITH RELIGION. SINCE WHEN IS EVERYONE CHRISTIAN SUDDENLY? EVEN IN THE PLEDGE OF ALLIEGENCE, SOMETHING WE SAY EVERY SINGLE SCHOOL DAY OF OUR LIFE, IT MENTIONS "..UNDER ONE GOD.." WHAT ABOUT THE ATHEISTS? OR POLYTHEISTS?]
(chorus)
What is right or wrong [I CERTAINLY DON'T KNOW WITH THE MEDIA FUCKING EVERYTHING UP]
I don't know who to believe in [HOW ABOUT- YOURSELF?]
My soul sings a different song In America [SURE AS HELL IT'S A COMPLICATED ONE]
Church bells ringing pass the plate around [ITS ALWAYS GOOD TO DONATE TO YOUR CHURCH, BUT IF YOU DON'T ITS NOT A BAD THING. AND WHEN YOU HAND THE PERSON THE BASKET, IT'S LIKE, TEMPTING YOU. "GO A HEAD, PUT ALL YOUR MONEY IN ME SEEING AS THOUGH I'M RIGHT HERE" AND WHEN OYU PASS THE BASKET ALONG WITHOUT CONTRIBUITING IT'S PRACTICALLY A SIN, AND THE NEXT PERSON CANN SEE THAT YOU HAVEN'T PUT ANYTHING IN IT.
The choir is singing as their leader falls to the ground [WE CARE MORE ABOUT A MAN WE'VE NEVER MET, AND ARE TOO BUSY PRAISING HIM THAN SOMEONE WHOM IS IMPORTANT AND WHOM OUR ENTIRE COUNTRY DEPENDS ON. SOMEONE WE CAN SEE IN FLESH IN BLOOD. NOT SOMEONE WHO WE READ ABOUT IN A BOOK. COME ON, PEOPLE]

ok so i know some of that was a little harsh but i had to make my point. and i'm being a little stereotypical in some of the passages or whatevers, i know, sorry. i hope you understood at least a line or two. [hopeful smile]

but anyway its been a long day and i've got a truck load of homework to do. maybe i'll put on some pink floyd. nice soothing music. its practically a drug in itself.

and i leave you with these last and final words. for the day.

Hurray for a child that makes it through
If there's any way, because the answer lies in you
Their laid to rest, before they know just what to do
Their souls are lost, because they could never find
What's this life for
I see your soul it's kind of gray
I see your heart, you look away
You see my wrist, I know your pain
I know your purpose on your plane
Don't say a last prayer, because you could never find
What's this life for
But they ain't here anymore
Don't have to settle the score
Cause we all live under the reign of one king
(creed.. yes.. again)

with love and admiration, and the yearning to scream out at the top of my lungs and sing some glorious song to everyone that would cheer them all up and snap everyone out of their unexpected and long term depression,
>>> <3 <3 <3 <3 rachel